Parodie:Vodník(z kytice)

31. července 2006 v 15:59 | Pajoulinka |  kravinky
U rybníka v stínu vrby sedí vodník Feryna,
Nudou celý otrávený, nasraný jak latrýna.
A že se mu nechtělo jít dnes večer s corou,
že je v lásce soběstačný, ocas honí pazourou.
Říká sobě "musím počkat na tu holku ze mlýna",
s tou si musím zamrdati, holka je jak malina.
A že mám již distribuci dneska všechnu dodánu,
půjdu si teď chvíli lehnout, hupnu na to po ránu.
Ráno raníčko panna vstala, pásku měsíční sobě vzala.
Půjdu matičko k rybíku, vypláchnu sobě čurynu.
Ach nechoď dcero za lekníny, nedělej holka voloviny.
Tam čeká vodník veliký, ten natrhne ti kachlíky!
Nemá dceruška nemá stání, neb jímá jí chuť na mrdání.
V kundě cítí svědění, možná že zlé to znamení!
Sotva prdel sobě smočí, tu jakás ruka po ní skočí.
Za ní se vodník vynoří, chvost ji v kundu ponoří.
Sral na to že je s chloupky a stáhnul ji dolů za chloupky.
Než mohla zařvat na strejce už ho tam měla po vejce.
Jak ti dva při tom hekali tak ryby kolem lekaly.
Žabák jak zřel to mrdání, tak za žabou hnedka uhání.
A když pak vodník domrdal, za kozy pannu pevně vzal
a na svém hustém ohonu stáhl ji k sobě do domu.
Tak na svém loži z leknínu zas do ní pouštěl mrdinu.
Jak zřel to jeden živočich, hned dostal chuť na jeden štych.
Pijavky lezli na raky a praly do nich čůráky.
A starý kapr ve mžiku? Hup přes dva šutry na štiku.
Bělice kurav ceckatá, tahala za kule candáta.
A bez ohledu na bydlo, potápník leze na šidlo.
A když vodníka pustil chtíč, tu otřel svou zelenou tyč,
a panna zcela znavená, hladí si zmrzlá ramena.
Netahej už mě za cecky, skočím si domů pro šprcky,
neb z toho tvého klacana mohla bych dostat fakana.
Di vodník "já tě nepustím" to raději tě 3× ošustím.
Jiného sobě nalezneš a na mě se pak vysereš!
Neboj se pane vodníku, jsem věrná tvému pytlíku,
neb za tvoji násadu, těžko bych našla náhradu.
Pustí ji vodník na krátký čas, s doměnkou, že vrátí se zas.
A aby nevyšel z kondice, tak zatím klátí bělice.
Vylezla panna z jezera, mokrá jak vodní příšera,
hned si to sere ke mlýnu, by viděla svoji maminu.
Sotva, že stane na síni dva hlasy slyší v kuchyni.
Otvírá dveře nesměle, jak když prd leze z prdele.
Matka ohnutá přes necky a stárek ji drží za cecky,
za ní zří práška Frantíka, jak do ní pere culíka.
Prášek než ji tam upíchl, měl ocas jak šnubtychl.
Na stárka jdou zas mrákoty, klacan mu čumí na boty.
Tohle však stárka nasírá, kulky si kváskem natírá
a panna jak to viděla, tu hned ji pipka svrběla.
Na kavalec se natáhla hned si k sobě stárka přitáhla,
lehni si ke mě na slámu a vyser se už na mámu.
Kolem je cítit mrdu puch, když tu na dveře buch buch buch!
Pospěš si čubko zasraná, nebudu čekat do rána.
Já všechny ryby pomrdal, čůrák mi stojí dál a dál.
Já 4× měl poluce, nežli jsem natáhnul onuce.
Seru ti na tvého pinďasa, strč si ho třeba do ESA!
Nechci milovat kaňoura co má zelanýho pinďoura.
Já mám lepší násadu neboť šoustám zezadu.
Tys pro mne hovno společník, neb zelený máš konečník.
Nasrala se vodník ve chvíli, až prdy se v něm vařily
a mocné jejich rachoty roztrhali mu kalhoty.
A v tomto hrozném počasí, změkli hned všechny ocasy
a v tomto hrozném povyku tu rána padla na kliku.
Panna šla honem otevřít a hrůzou mohla hned omdlít.
Dvě věci tu v krvy leží, čůrák zvlášť a koule svěží
 

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